We got a kick out of reading a satire; despite the satire’s being so far out, it was a way to lighten things up a bit amid the seriousness of the situation that we suddenly found ourselves in since Christmas.
The satire was a shot at the assault charges brought about against the Navy SEALs for allegedly physically hurting suspect Ahmed Hashim Abed and tied with the recent attempt to blow up a commercial flight on Christmas Day. As is widely reported at this time, the attempt to blow up Northwest Flight 253 was aborted due to the efforts of Dutch citizen Jasper Schuringa and the other passengers aboard the plane.
What is so obvious about this story is that Schuringa and the passengers did not stop Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab by pleading to his better judgment; the description of the incident involved Schuringa practically jumping over seats and – we would imagine – tackling the suspect and bringing him to the floor. He further shares in a feature on the New York Daily News how he “frantically” searched for explosives hidden in the body of Abdulmutallab, who was allegedly already getting on fire.
Hence, the satire hints on how it is not right for anyone to physically hurt suspected terrorists.
The satire closes with the following “statement” from a “Justice Department spokesman”: “After eight years of human-rights abuses, including who knows how many incidents of terrorists getting punched in the mouth, we are finally showing the world that the United States will no longer mistreat people who want to blow us up. We are making it very clear that no terrorist should fear getting a fat lip. Jasper Schuringa crossed a line by brutally hitting Mr. Abdulmutallab in the mouth, and he will have to pay the price for his inexcusable violence.”
That is just satire – at least, we hope that is all it will ever be!